‘The first time I made love / Was on a Greek beach. At sunset / The girl ran off / Saying I was a useless shag’
I went on holiday with my 10-year-old son
We stayed in a shitty hostel in the Alps.
It rained almost every day
And neither of us could think of anything much to say.
We stuck it out for a week and then
Decided to cut our losses and go home.
It was the best time we ever had together.
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